Boyfriend calls girlfriend "evil stepmother" when she tries to train his poorly behaved Shih Tzu, leading to potential breakup when their dogs won't get along

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    Am I wrong for choosing my dog over my bf and his dog?

    Woman training a dog.
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    My boyfriend (42) has a five-year- old Shih Tzu (F), I (F, 37) have a five year-old golden retriever mix
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    (F). I spent thousands of dollars on my dog training, literally thousands. She is very well
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    trained, listens to most commands the first time, she is socialized, she is friendly with
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    people, and does not beg or bark (unless necessary). However, my boyfriend's dog will not only beg
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    for food, but will come to the table, jump up and punch him with her front paws, she begs at
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    the table, and barks. She barks anytime that she wants attention, growls anytime she wants
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    anything, she growls and barks whenever him and I hug, kiss, or are just not paying attention to
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    her in general. I have been trying to teach her certain things like staying out of the kitchen (mostly
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    because she stands behind us while we are cooking) for her safety, and ours, and not
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    begging, at the table especially. I successfully leash trained her, also for her safety. But every time
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    that I try to teach her something, my boyfriend is making me out to be an evil stepmother, his words.
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    I have tried to have a conversation with him about training her more, but he is not
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    consistent about it and seems to disagree (without saying it) he allows so many behaviors that I
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    wouldn't. Example: He allows her to eat bones/treats on the bed, which then ends up leaving
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    crumbs and giant saliva spots. I'm not trying to be dramatic about that, but it feels really dirty. At the
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    beginning of our relationship, I was OK with her sleeping on the bed, but I have a back issue and it
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    causes me to toss and turn, I wouldn't mind except for the fact that she likes to curl up right next
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    to us and it makes it really hard to sleep because we end up giving up so much of the bed for
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    her. I already have a really hard. time sleeping, so I asked him to let her sleep on the ottoman
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    (same height as the bed) at the foot of the bed. It's improved our sleeping but I'm still the bad guy.
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    Recently, we tried to introduce our dogs so that we can eventually move in together, but
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    when he brought over his dog for the second time, she started running around sniffing
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    everywhere peed and pooped inside the house, jumped on top of the furniture, and was sniffing
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    around my dog's bowl. My dog watched her from her bed, and kept looking at me as if she was
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    confused why I brought in a little menace and didn't reprimand her for the bad behavior. That same
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    night my boyfriend and I were getting ready for bed and both dogs were in the room. My dog
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    has her bed near the bedroom door, the Shih Tzu was barking/growling at us and trying
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    to jump on the bed (Which she obviously couldn't reach), and we kept telling her to stay down and
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    wait. The Shih Tzu kept running around the room (super tiny room) sniffing in the closet and
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    getting in my dog's space not respecting my dog's personal space boundaries. My daughter's cat happen to be on the other
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    A couple having a healthy argument about dogs.
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    side of the door, and the Shih Tzu ran to the door started growling, and I guess that's when my dog had had enough and snapped at
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    her. I don't think that my dog was trying to hurt her, but we reacted as if she was. We were terrified of the 80 pound difference. This
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    wasn't the first time that they met, they had been going for walks together, she had been over at my house before, but this was the first time that my dog snapped at his.
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    Now we have the dogs completely separated, one at my house, one at his house, but this makes it difficult to move forward with our relationship. I feel like an
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    awful pet owner because it was my dog that snapped at his, but I'm doing everything in my power to reinforce my dog training. The
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    crazy thing is that she doesn't do this with other dogs. She even has a Yorkie (male) best friend. Now I'm starting to hold a lot of resentment toward his dog, which
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    I know is a stubborn breed, and which isn't necessarily fair to her, but she's starting to annoy me in a whole new way. AITA for not
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    liking her? AITA for not wanting to get rid of my dog just to move in with him and his dog? Any tips would be greatly appreciated, I don't know what else to do.

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